[ essie hadn't expected any of this when she transferred schools. it was nice of jules to look out for her after what happened at her old school, long after they had agreed to split due to the distance. she had seen that he was with someone else and it was fine, didn't create any sort of ache in her heart. maybe the thought of how sweet jules was had remained dormant until the opportune moment. maybe there was something about seeing him with someone just as handsome and the tension that followed. it was inevitable that she and van would be spending all this time together, whether it be for class or this boy who was once hers.
the rest just happened and she found himself back with now not-straight jules and his boyfriend. the physical and emotional closeness is healing, in a way, since the girls from her first college had broken her down more than she thought. she once loved jules, and maybe falling for him again would factor in the person who helped him evolve a little bit. it's undeniable that it feels good whenever they decide to share more than they often do. college is meant for experimentation and time is precious and surely they can expedite exhausting their boyfriend by sharing the space.
but it's rarely about the two of them though god knows how well they move together in the studio and in bed. after the goodbye kisses, she's returned to bed after cleaning herself up a little, not bothering to tame her curly hair and donning one of jules's ringer shirts with nothing else, comfortable as she settles in for a glance at her calendar and a scroll through her friends' stories. and that's when van decides to snuggle in, which only makes her raise her eyebrows. ]
What? [ but she doesn't sound annoyed, in fact quite fond as she turns to peer down at him and swipes away the stories. ]
( van is ... as surprised as anyone that things have turned out between the three of them the way that they have — perhaps even more so considering the lengths he'd gone to drive essie away when she'd first transferred here, wanting literally nothing more than for her to leave the school or, more specifically, leave jules's life again, a grudge harbored before he'd even laid eyes on her in person.
essie fucking ko, he'd practically spit, furiously scrolling through jules's tagged photos, making himself more and more angry the more he thought about why jules didn't untag himself, why he didn't unfriend her, why he didn't remove her from his life entirely. essie fucking ko is beautiful — gorgeous, even, with enviable, vibrant curls — and the two of them look so happy in all of their pictures. essie fucking ko is also, obviously, a girl. she represents just about everything that van does not, represents an easy relationship without confusion over sexualities and the mere possibility of a judging family, a path to what jules could do, maybe even should do.
maybe he never really hated essie fucking ko at all. maybe it was always just about his own jealousy and — worse than that, his own insecurities. not that he'll ever admit that.
leave it to jules tan to do the exact opposite of what van expects and say fuck it all and find himself with a boyfriend and a girlfriend. leave it to van to do the unexpected, too, finding himself shockingly okay with the fiery chemistry between he and essie onstage when they dance, his so-called hatred morphing into panting and heatedly kissing maybe the softest pair of lips he's ever kissed, tasting her strawberry lip gloss onstage — finding himself shockingly okay with the concept of sharing. maybe it's because essie brings something a little more grounded to their relationship, tempering jules and van's fires as they inevitably clash, tempering van's giant fucking ego.
it's weird for him, the warmth that bubbles up in his chest when essie meets his gaze, the soft smile that curves onto his mouth. he drapes an arm over her middle, curls his fingers into the fabric of jules's shirt and props himself up on his forearm so he can lean down and press a kiss against her mouth, soft and maybe even a little sweet. )
[ this was the product of a lot of handwringing, half-finished sentences, and finally forced communication from essie because she couldn't stand hanging in limbo. if this wasn't going to work, she would bow out since she had done so in the beginning and it would have been fine. but thankfully, injecting some sensibility into the equation did them all some good. maybe it will end up being as unhealthy as she feared in the long run, but after being broken down piece by piece, she won't turn away the constant flow of affection and feelings of acceptance. any drama whittles down to petty arguments. and she and van – well, this is beyond a mutual agreement now.
she likes him, is even thankful for how much he pushed jules to acknowledge and sharpen the hidden qualities about himself that they couldn't have possibly seen in high school. she feels challenged by him in the studio, having been hazed in a ... more productive way than her old school. there's no excusing the meanness from before, but it's in the past now.
now, she's kissing him back, the two of them lazy and basking in the aftermath of what they had just done, not quite partners but further from rivals than before. it's strangely saccharine, the way he kisses her, different from the way they usually kiss when they're in the heat of the moment. with a soft giggle, she places her phone on jules's desk and turns her head to look at him properly, lifting her hand to push his hair away from his eyes. ]
What, you miss him already? [ she teases, wrinkling her nose. ]
( cue van wrinkling his nose quite disdainfully in return, tipping his chin up to peer down skeptically at essie while she toys with his messy, faded bangs of some light, unidentifiably murky color. ) No, I do not. ( except he says it a little too quickly, sounds a little too defensive.
so maybe he'll grin a little sheepishly, as though he's not very obviously someone who's borderline obsessed with their boyfriend, admit, ) Okay, maybe a little.
( but he props himself up a little higher, brackets her with his hands on either side of her while his lower half stays stubbornly laying against the mattress, lazy after some good morning sex, and he tips his head to the side quizzically, sounding faux-offended. ) What, am I not allowed to just feel like kissing you? ( and maybe to be his usual contrarian self, he leans in for another kiss, giving her lower lip a teasing nip with his teeth before lapping over it gently to soothe the dull sting, stealing another smooch because that obviously helps everything. )
[ essie is about to fix a discerning glare on him but van eventually relents which has her smiling again. she can't deny a little bit of cuddling and aftercare after sex, even if she would typically leave after a few moments to catch her breath, preferably to clean up, change into a fresh set of clothes. but jules's shirts are comfortable and apparently so is van's embrace. interesting.
she kisses back deliberately, threading her fingers through the shorter hairs above the nape of his neck, keeping him there above her. it is nice. and he is a good kisser. ]
He's not naturally a cuddler, [ she sighs against his mouth, ] isn't that terrible?
Just awful, ( van agrees with a dramatic roll of his eyes, tipping his chin to kiss her again before more words decide that they want to leave him, his lips brushing against hers as he speaks, a little silly. ) I don't know why we put up with his bullshit.
( as though there aren't at least thousands of reasons why, some shallower than the rest and some that make van's heart feel like it's going to burst right out of his chest in a way that feels just as horrible and incomprehensible as it sounds. usually he has a far easier time saying questionably mean things to jules's face than he does behind his back, but considering present company, the way her delicate fingers slide so easily through his hair, he feels oddly at ease.
maybe he'll just nose against her cheek a little, trail featherlight kisses along her jaw, his hand letting go of her shirt so it can settle on her hip, fingertips brushing gently against her bare skin. ) You didn't answer my question.
[ the kisses are distracting and essie is frequently easily distracted, lacking much of that hyperfocus that jules has always possessed and has tried to help her with since they were a little younger. they'd turn off their phones and face away from the television and sometimes each other when doing homework, though eventually, they would find themselves intertwined again.
she hums happily, letting him kiss her, her jaw and her chin, the touch unfamiliar but unusual nonetheless. ]
There's nothing wrong with that. I'm just surprised you want to at all, [ essie confesses with a little shrug of her shoulders, not really pressing the matter, but speaking her mind as she often does. ]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2020-04-27 07:00 am (UTC)the rest just happened and she found himself back with now not-straight jules and his boyfriend. the physical and emotional closeness is healing, in a way, since the girls from her first college had broken her down more than she thought. she once loved jules, and maybe falling for him again would factor in the person who helped him evolve a little bit. it's undeniable that it feels good whenever they decide to share more than they often do. college is meant for experimentation and time is precious and surely they can expedite exhausting their boyfriend by sharing the space.
but it's rarely about the two of them though god knows how well they move together in the studio and in bed. after the goodbye kisses, she's returned to bed after cleaning herself up a little, not bothering to tame her curly hair and donning one of jules's ringer shirts with nothing else, comfortable as she settles in for a glance at her calendar and a scroll through her friends' stories. and that's when van decides to snuggle in, which only makes her raise her eyebrows. ]
What? [ but she doesn't sound annoyed, in fact quite fond as she turns to peer down at him and swipes away the stories. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-04-27 10:12 pm (UTC)essie fucking ko, he'd practically spit, furiously scrolling through jules's tagged photos, making himself more and more angry the more he thought about why jules didn't untag himself, why he didn't unfriend her, why he didn't remove her from his life entirely. essie fucking ko is beautiful — gorgeous, even, with enviable, vibrant curls — and the two of them look so happy in all of their pictures. essie fucking ko is also, obviously, a girl. she represents just about everything that van does not, represents an easy relationship without confusion over sexualities and the mere possibility of a judging family, a path to what jules could do, maybe even should do.
maybe he never really hated essie fucking ko at all. maybe it was always just about his own jealousy and — worse than that, his own insecurities. not that he'll ever admit that.
leave it to jules tan to do the exact opposite of what van expects and say fuck it all and find himself with a boyfriend and a girlfriend. leave it to van to do the unexpected, too, finding himself shockingly okay with the fiery chemistry between he and essie onstage when they dance, his so-called hatred morphing into panting and heatedly kissing maybe the softest pair of lips he's ever kissed, tasting her strawberry lip gloss onstage — finding himself shockingly okay with the concept of sharing. maybe it's because essie brings something a little more grounded to their relationship, tempering jules and van's fires as they inevitably clash, tempering van's giant fucking ego.
it's weird for him, the warmth that bubbles up in his chest when essie meets his gaze, the soft smile that curves onto his mouth. he drapes an arm over her middle, curls his fingers into the fabric of jules's shirt and props himself up on his forearm so he can lean down and press a kiss against her mouth, soft and maybe even a little sweet. )
Hi.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-28 04:44 am (UTC)she likes him, is even thankful for how much he pushed jules to acknowledge and sharpen the hidden qualities about himself that they couldn't have possibly seen in high school. she feels challenged by him in the studio, having been hazed in a ... more productive way than her old school. there's no excusing the meanness from before, but it's in the past now.
now, she's kissing him back, the two of them lazy and basking in the aftermath of what they had just done, not quite partners but further from rivals than before. it's strangely saccharine, the way he kisses her, different from the way they usually kiss when they're in the heat of the moment. with a soft giggle, she places her phone on jules's desk and turns her head to look at him properly, lifting her hand to push his hair away from his eyes. ]
What, you miss him already? [ she teases, wrinkling her nose. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-05-03 03:57 am (UTC)so maybe he'll grin a little sheepishly, as though he's not very obviously someone who's borderline obsessed with their boyfriend, admit, ) Okay, maybe a little.
( but he props himself up a little higher, brackets her with his hands on either side of her while his lower half stays stubbornly laying against the mattress, lazy after some good morning sex, and he tips his head to the side quizzically, sounding faux-offended. ) What, am I not allowed to just feel like kissing you? ( and maybe to be his usual contrarian self, he leans in for another kiss, giving her lower lip a teasing nip with his teeth before lapping over it gently to soothe the dull sting, stealing another smooch because that obviously helps everything. )
no subject
Date: 2020-05-03 10:16 pm (UTC)she kisses back deliberately, threading her fingers through the shorter hairs above the nape of his neck, keeping him there above her. it is nice. and he is a good kisser. ]
He's not naturally a cuddler, [ she sighs against his mouth, ] isn't that terrible?
no subject
Date: 2020-05-20 04:45 am (UTC)( as though there aren't at least thousands of reasons why, some shallower than the rest and some that make van's heart feel like it's going to burst right out of his chest in a way that feels just as horrible and incomprehensible as it sounds. usually he has a far easier time saying questionably mean things to jules's face than he does behind his back, but considering present company, the way her delicate fingers slide so easily through his hair, he feels oddly at ease.
maybe he'll just nose against her cheek a little, trail featherlight kisses along her jaw, his hand letting go of her shirt so it can settle on her hip, fingertips brushing gently against her bare skin. ) You didn't answer my question.
( maybe he just wants to Know. )
no subject
Date: 2020-05-24 05:36 am (UTC)[ the kisses are distracting and essie is frequently easily distracted, lacking much of that hyperfocus that jules has always possessed and has tried to help her with since they were a little younger. they'd turn off their phones and face away from the television and sometimes each other when doing homework, though eventually, they would find themselves intertwined again.
she hums happily, letting him kiss her, her jaw and her chin, the touch unfamiliar but unusual nonetheless. ]
There's nothing wrong with that. I'm just surprised you want to at all, [ essie confesses with a little shrug of her shoulders, not really pressing the matter, but speaking her mind as she often does. ]