[ it's so cute, seeing him flustered by even the smallest moves she makes on him. not that essie has a great deal of experience in comparison, but she certainly has a bit more finesse when it comes to these things. her smile widens as she watches calvin fumble to pause their show and she angles her body towards him even more, legs curled up against her as they sit against the back of her tufted daybed headboard.
her room is that of a normal teenage girl with posters and dance competition trophies, brand new nerd merch slowly edging out the the childhood princess-y vibes she had grown up with. it's frankly exciting to have a boy in her private space, regardless of what they end up doing and are comfortable with at the end of the day.
essie doesn't mind taking the first few steps either, leaning in to gently cup his cheek so she can kiss him softly.
it's not the first time they've kissed, no, but there's a promise of more this time, as tentative as it may be. ]
[ A lack of experience on both their parts puts them on theoretically even footing when it comes to things like this, but their very different personalities means that Calvin is always going to come off a little sweatier and a little more awkward than Essie ever will.
The lack of excitement about this is pretty even though. Calvin had never been invited into a girl's room before Essie.
Well, he had when he was a little kid, and they were literal playdates, but since puberty happened his number of female friends had dwindled painfully, and his romantic prospects managed to total out at zero before their fateful meeting at the anime convention. Even if Calvin is a cute enough guy, the way he dresses and styles himself does a pretty good job of making him look very ordinary and ignorable.
His inability to make any first approaches doesn't help his case, so it's nice that Essie is willing to take some lead here, because at the very least Calvin is ready and willing to enthusiastically follow.
He twists his body towards her a little as she starts the kiss, pressing his lips back against hers to deepen the kiss a little. They've had enough practice with this now for Calvin to feel pretty comfortable that he's doing an okay job here. ]
[ it is a nice kiss, a good kiss. essie is slowly learning how to tell someone what she actually wants ( her, not anyone else ), and while she still has a lot of growing to do in that direction, she is at least comfortable with the fact that calvin is someone who will actually take into consideration whatever she's saying. more pressure here, less tongue there, maybe they shouldn't sit in such a weird position. right now, sitting sideways is fine because she fully has intentions to move when things get hotter and heavier. and if they're on the same page, it certainly will.
she doesn't mind that he's sweatier or more awkward because, well, it's endearing. and it somehow makes her feel less pressured to do or be anything in this moment.
against his mouth, essie giggles softly, thrilled and already a bit breathless even if they've only just begun. she touches his cheek with a little rub of her thumb against the apple of it before her fingers push into his hair. ]
Um.
[ at the pause when she needs to part for air, she decides to pipe up with: ] I was kind of thinking ...
[ There's not a chance in hell that Calvin would ignore anything Essie says to him when it comes to things like this. Honestly, in general Calvin isn't the type to ignore what people tell him, but there's a sort of hyper alertness when it comes to her careful instructions on how he can improve his kissing game that has made him a surprisingly good student.
Maybe it's the fact that he really doesn't want to blow it with her, or the fact that Calvin has always been excellent at following instructions, but either way it takes very little effort to coax him onto the right track.
And if what she wants to talk about is what he's really, really, really hoping it will be, he's extremely ready to follow further instructions.
As she breaks the kiss, he sits up a little straighter, eyes almost feverishly searching her face as he waits for her to finish that thought. ]
[ that's when the jitters start, when she has his full attention and her entire body is buzzing and she's pretty sure calvin's might just be too. she's already blushing when she meets his gaze briefly, even as she tenderly holds his face while trying to muster up the courage to actually say what she's been planning on saying for a few days now. ]
Do you want to go further? More than just, like, making out?
[ s e x.
it's certainly on the mind of this good catholic girl. not so good. but maybe the sex fixation is a catholic thing considering how much guilt people still have over it. for a summer fling, it's starting to feel more serious to her than it had when she gave calvin her number at the convention a while back. most importantly. she likes him. and wants to do stuff with him. and she's pretty sure he wants to do stuff with her, even after they respectfully pull apart after more heated makeout sessions.
[ Buzzing is one way to put it, though Calvin feels almost ready to vibrate right out of his own skin in nervous anticipation right now. It's not like he wasn't well aware of the fact that Essie was interested in him, but he hadn't actually expected to be asked to take this step already. Maybe ever?
The chance that he's going to turn her down is absolutely zero. She just barely has a chance to give him that little kiss before he's blurting out a response. ]
Yes! Please? I mean, yes.
[ He clears his throat, trying to not focus too much on how his voice cracked sharply on the word "please" there. Very uncool.
Trying to reel it back, he reaches a hand up to brush some of her hair over her shoulder, giving himself something to do so he doesn't combust on the spot. ]
[ which is kind of a lame thing to say, essie thinks, but it at least gives them both an out in case things potentially go south. not that she wants it to! she very much wants it to go well and tries not to sit so heavily in her own thoughts about this afternoon. even if she might have been picturing it for at least a week now.
the brush of his fingers through her hair is sweet and she gently catches his hand between hers as she leans in to kiss him again, deeper this time but still with her bright smile. slowly, she places his hand on her chest.
[ It's not lame at all to Calvin. In fact, it's a really exciting thing to say. It's a statement that offers a vague amount of promise with the possibility for fulfilling all of Calvin's wildest dreams tonight.
Alright, maybe not all of them. Some of his fantasies are a little unrealistic, but he definitely is ready for the chance just to be able to explore her body hands only, much less the chance for sex.
And it definitely feels like he's at least getting a chance at the first. Even as they kiss, Calvin's breath hitches a little as he spreads his hand out across her chest, marveling more at the reality of the fact that a girl is encouraging him to touch a titty more than anything. Over clothing it might not be something that feels super special, especially since during hugs and cuddling he's had Essie's chest pressed up to him before, but it's the principle of the thing. She's actually allowing him to touch them on purpose now. ]
( she giggles. it's not because he's done anything wrong, she's just excited that they're actually doing this and she's doing it with someone she genuinely really likes. maybe he doesn't know her inside and out but she does feel comfortable enough to be more of herself and essie thinks that is a more than valid reason to have sex.
and it's nice, inviting someone you like to, well, touch your boobs. she didn't think much of it before, skirted the issue, or batted hands away when any other guy tried with her. she gives his hand a squeeze around the small mound under his palm before wrapping her arms around calvin once more.
this is good, the kisses are good. all in all it's a very good start, maybe a little uncomfortable sitting side by side - maybe she should get into his lap? )
[ Calvin isn't about to disagree with her reasoning right now. While he's not so "horny teen boy" to eagerly hop into bed with a girl who he didn't like spending time with, just mutually liking someone is more than enough for him to nod in enthusiastic agreement to the idea of having sex.
Now Calvin admittedly isn't any kind of sex god here, and his palming of Essie's tits probably isn't anything spectacular that's going to feel like much, but he is at least trying to be mindful and gentle. He has no concept of how hard is too hard, and he doesn't want to hurt her in case boobs turn out to be be surprising fragile things.
But he is definitely taking his chance to feel and lightly squeeze, his mind whirling around too much to really think about how awkward their positioning is right now.
Of course if she wants to try to get into his lap though, he will help her out. ]
( wait, no, she wants to keep kissing him for a few more seconds while they're sitting side by side. the fondling doesn't do much of her yet, though she does find a thrill in letting him do this, encouraging him to keep touching her.
she presses kisses against his mouth a few times, making soft sucking noises each time. her hands press against his chest in return and she nuzzles their noses together when she takes a moment to breathe and speak. )
H-how should we do this? ( well, essie knows, but she'd like to know where he wants her too. )
[ The question has his hands stilling as he pulls back just a little to search her face carefully. She's really serious about this, and that fact has Calvin wanting to shake right out of his skin, but the problem is... ]
I don't really know. I mean, I know, but like I haven't done anything like this before. You're my first. Girlfriend even! So my first kiss too, but definitely my first time having sex.
[ He presses his lips together for a moment, trying to make himself shut up and stop the word vomit for a second, before clearing his throat. ]
( which might sound ridiculous considering how responsive calvin has been to her romantic overtures of sorts, but essie just really wants to make sure. her eyes as wide when they look at each other and she cups his face out of a want for something to do with her own hands while she tries to settle her own thoughts. )
I'm not, like, an expert or anything, ( she eventually murmurs, shifting her weight and slipping out of his grasp for just a second. in one swift swing of her leg over his lap, she climbs over him, straddling his thighs with a sheepish little smile. )
I've read stuff -- ( in teen vogue, honestly. ) -- about this too, about how you should follow your instincts and what makes you both feel good... and not overthink everythinhg.
[ It's probably a good thing that Essie grabs onto his face, because it keeps Calvin from wildly oscillating between nodding and shaking his head to confirm that yes he would like to have sex, and no she is not pressuring him. Instead he stares in a gormless manner at her, blinking rapidly at her as she mentions not overthinking things.
This is not Calvin's specialty at all. He's a chronic overthinker, but he can at least try to be cool and go with the flow this time. It probably won't work well, and he's already cursing himself a little by thinking that very thought.
He'll lie about it though as he settles his hands on her legs now. ]
Okay. Yeah. I can definitely do that.
[ He clears his throat, trying not to feel too flustered. ]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-12-10 06:04 am (UTC)[ it's so cute, seeing him flustered by even the smallest moves she makes on him. not that essie has a great deal of experience in comparison, but she certainly has a bit more finesse when it comes to these things. her smile widens as she watches calvin fumble to pause their show and she angles her body towards him even more, legs curled up against her as they sit against the back of her tufted daybed headboard.
her room is that of a normal teenage girl with posters and dance competition trophies, brand new nerd merch slowly edging out the the childhood princess-y vibes she had grown up with. it's frankly exciting to have a boy in her private space, regardless of what they end up doing and are comfortable with at the end of the day.
essie doesn't mind taking the first few steps either, leaning in to gently cup his cheek so she can kiss him softly.
it's not the first time they've kissed, no, but there's a promise of more this time, as tentative as it may be. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-12-14 02:35 am (UTC)The lack of excitement about this is pretty even though. Calvin had never been invited into a girl's room before Essie.
Well, he had when he was a little kid, and they were literal playdates, but since puberty happened his number of female friends had dwindled painfully, and his romantic prospects managed to total out at zero before their fateful meeting at the anime convention. Even if Calvin is a cute enough guy, the way he dresses and styles himself does a pretty good job of making him look very ordinary and ignorable.
His inability to make any first approaches doesn't help his case, so it's nice that Essie is willing to take some lead here, because at the very least Calvin is ready and willing to enthusiastically follow.
He twists his body towards her a little as she starts the kiss, pressing his lips back against hers to deepen the kiss a little. They've had enough practice with this now for Calvin to feel pretty comfortable that he's doing an okay job here. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-12-15 04:33 am (UTC)she doesn't mind that he's sweatier or more awkward because, well, it's endearing. and it somehow makes her feel less pressured to do or be anything in this moment.
against his mouth, essie giggles softly, thrilled and already a bit breathless even if they've only just begun. she touches his cheek with a little rub of her thumb against the apple of it before her fingers push into his hair. ]
Um.
[ at the pause when she needs to part for air, she decides to pipe up with: ] I was kind of thinking ...
no subject
Date: 2021-12-20 12:11 am (UTC)Maybe it's the fact that he really doesn't want to blow it with her, or the fact that Calvin has always been excellent at following instructions, but either way it takes very little effort to coax him onto the right track.
And if what she wants to talk about is what he's really, really, really hoping it will be, he's extremely ready to follow further instructions.
As she breaks the kiss, he sits up a little straighter, eyes almost feverishly searching her face as he waits for her to finish that thought. ]
Yeah?
no subject
Date: 2021-12-23 03:15 am (UTC)Do you want to go further? More than just, like, making out?
[ s e x.
it's certainly on the mind of this good catholic girl. not so good. but maybe the sex fixation is a catholic thing considering how much guilt people still have over it. for a summer fling, it's starting to feel more serious to her than it had when she gave calvin her number at the convention a while back. most importantly. she likes him. and wants to do stuff with him. and she's pretty sure he wants to do stuff with her, even after they respectfully pull apart after more heated makeout sessions.
she leans in to kiss him, just a peck. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-12-27 03:58 am (UTC)The chance that he's going to turn her down is absolutely zero. She just barely has a chance to give him that little kiss before he's blurting out a response. ]
Yes! Please? I mean, yes.
[ He clears his throat, trying to not focus too much on how his voice cracked sharply on the word "please" there. Very uncool.
Trying to reel it back, he reaches a hand up to brush some of her hair over her shoulder, giving himself something to do so he doesn't combust on the spot. ]
Whatever you want to do, I am all for it.
no subject
Date: 2021-12-30 06:24 am (UTC)[ which is kind of a lame thing to say, essie thinks, but it at least gives them both an out in case things potentially go south. not that she wants it to! she very much wants it to go well and tries not to sit so heavily in her own thoughts about this afternoon. even if she might have been picturing it for at least a week now.
the brush of his fingers through her hair is sweet and she gently catches his hand between hers as she leans in to kiss him again, deeper this time but still with her bright smile. slowly, she places his hand on her chest.
this is a good start. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-01-01 11:25 pm (UTC)Alright, maybe not all of them. Some of his fantasies are a little unrealistic, but he definitely is ready for the chance just to be able to explore her body hands only, much less the chance for sex.
And it definitely feels like he's at least getting a chance at the first. Even as they kiss, Calvin's breath hitches a little as he spreads his hand out across her chest, marveling more at the reality of the fact that a girl is encouraging him to touch a titty more than anything. Over clothing it might not be something that feels super special, especially since during hugs and cuddling he's had Essie's chest pressed up to him before, but it's the principle of the thing. She's actually allowing him to touch them on purpose now. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-01-03 04:14 am (UTC)and it's nice, inviting someone you like to, well, touch your boobs. she didn't think much of it before, skirted the issue, or batted hands away when any other guy tried with her. she gives his hand a squeeze around the small mound under his palm before wrapping her arms around calvin once more.
this is good, the kisses are good. all in all it's a very good start, maybe a little uncomfortable sitting side by side - maybe she should get into his lap? )
no subject
Date: 2022-01-16 04:38 pm (UTC)Now Calvin admittedly isn't any kind of sex god here, and his palming of Essie's tits probably isn't anything spectacular that's going to feel like much, but he is at least trying to be mindful and gentle. He has no concept of how hard is too hard, and he doesn't want to hurt her in case boobs turn out to be be surprising fragile things.
But he is definitely taking his chance to feel and lightly squeeze, his mind whirling around too much to really think about how awkward their positioning is right now.
Of course if she wants to try to get into his lap though, he will help her out. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-01-20 04:02 am (UTC)( wait, no, she wants to keep kissing him for a few more seconds while they're sitting side by side. the fondling doesn't do much of her yet, though she does find a thrill in letting him do this, encouraging him to keep touching her.
she presses kisses against his mouth a few times, making soft sucking noises each time. her hands press against his chest in return and she nuzzles their noses together when she takes a moment to breathe and speak. )
H-how should we do this? ( well, essie knows, but she'd like to know where he wants her too. )
no subject
Date: 2022-01-23 04:49 am (UTC)I don't really know. I mean, I know, but like I haven't done anything like this before. You're my first. Girlfriend even! So my first kiss too, but definitely my first time having sex.
[ He presses his lips together for a moment, trying to make himself shut up and stop the word vomit for a second, before clearing his throat. ]
I mean... that's what we're doing, right?
no subject
Date: 2022-01-28 05:16 am (UTC)( which might sound ridiculous considering how responsive calvin has been to her romantic overtures of sorts, but essie just really wants to make sure. her eyes as wide when they look at each other and she cups his face out of a want for something to do with her own hands while she tries to settle her own thoughts. )
I'm not, like, an expert or anything, ( she eventually murmurs, shifting her weight and slipping out of his grasp for just a second. in one swift swing of her leg over his lap, she climbs over him, straddling his thighs with a sheepish little smile. )
I've read stuff -- ( in teen vogue, honestly. ) -- about this too, about how you should follow your instincts and what makes you both feel good... and not overthink everythinhg.
no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 01:33 am (UTC)This is not Calvin's specialty at all. He's a chronic overthinker, but he can at least try to be cool and go with the flow this time. It probably won't work well, and he's already cursing himself a little by thinking that very thought.
He'll lie about it though as he settles his hands on her legs now. ]
Okay. Yeah. I can definitely do that.
[ He clears his throat, trying not to feel too flustered. ]
What uhm-- What kind of stuff feels good for you?