( jules scampered off to class a while ago, throwing on clothes and spraying a truly heinous amount of men's body spray onto himself in lieu of enough time for a shower and sent on his merry way with two kisses and a pinch and a slap to his cute ass respectively and — it's long past the time that van would usually take his leave, too, returning to his own shared dorm room to sleep some more, freshen up before his afternoon classes, but.
but today he doesn't, for some inexplicable reason. he's fine where he is, laying in jules's bed and scrolling mindlessly through his instagram feed. a quick glance over his shoulder shows that the girl beside him is doing much of the same, and — locking his phone and setting it aside, he turns to face her, to ... scoot closer to her, even, chin resting against her shoulder and his eyes round as ever as he peers down at her screen instead, his natural pout deepening. )
Essie, ( he murmurs, the epitome of a cat that really fucking wants some attention, the tip of his nose bumping against her cheek. then, some combination of a whine and an exasperated groan: ) Essie.
[ essie hadn't expected any of this when she transferred schools. it was nice of jules to look out for her after what happened at her old school, long after they had agreed to split due to the distance. she had seen that he was with someone else and it was fine, didn't create any sort of ache in her heart. maybe the thought of how sweet jules was had remained dormant until the opportune moment. maybe there was something about seeing him with someone just as handsome and the tension that followed. it was inevitable that she and van would be spending all this time together, whether it be for class or this boy who was once hers.
the rest just happened and she found himself back with now not-straight jules and his boyfriend. the physical and emotional closeness is healing, in a way, since the girls from her first college had broken her down more than she thought. she once loved jules, and maybe falling for him again would factor in the person who helped him evolve a little bit. it's undeniable that it feels good whenever they decide to share more than they often do. college is meant for experimentation and time is precious and surely they can expedite exhausting their boyfriend by sharing the space.
but it's rarely about the two of them though god knows how well they move together in the studio and in bed. after the goodbye kisses, she's returned to bed after cleaning herself up a little, not bothering to tame her curly hair and donning one of jules's ringer shirts with nothing else, comfortable as she settles in for a glance at her calendar and a scroll through her friends' stories. and that's when van decides to snuggle in, which only makes her raise her eyebrows. ]
What? [ but she doesn't sound annoyed, in fact quite fond as she turns to peer down at him and swipes away the stories. ]
( van is ... as surprised as anyone that things have turned out between the three of them the way that they have — perhaps even more so considering the lengths he'd gone to drive essie away when she'd first transferred here, wanting literally nothing more than for her to leave the school or, more specifically, leave jules's life again, a grudge harbored before he'd even laid eyes on her in person.
essie fucking ko, he'd practically spit, furiously scrolling through jules's tagged photos, making himself more and more angry the more he thought about why jules didn't untag himself, why he didn't unfriend her, why he didn't remove her from his life entirely. essie fucking ko is beautiful — gorgeous, even, with enviable, vibrant curls — and the two of them look so happy in all of their pictures. essie fucking ko is also, obviously, a girl. she represents just about everything that van does not, represents an easy relationship without confusion over sexualities and the mere possibility of a judging family, a path to what jules could do, maybe even should do.
maybe he never really hated essie fucking ko at all. maybe it was always just about his own jealousy and — worse than that, his own insecurities. not that he'll ever admit that.
leave it to jules tan to do the exact opposite of what van expects and say fuck it all and find himself with a boyfriend and a girlfriend. leave it to van to do the unexpected, too, finding himself shockingly okay with the fiery chemistry between he and essie onstage when they dance, his so-called hatred morphing into panting and heatedly kissing maybe the softest pair of lips he's ever kissed, tasting her strawberry lip gloss onstage — finding himself shockingly okay with the concept of sharing. maybe it's because essie brings something a little more grounded to their relationship, tempering jules and van's fires as they inevitably clash, tempering van's giant fucking ego.
it's weird for him, the warmth that bubbles up in his chest when essie meets his gaze, the soft smile that curves onto his mouth. he drapes an arm over her middle, curls his fingers into the fabric of jules's shirt and props himself up on his forearm so he can lean down and press a kiss against her mouth, soft and maybe even a little sweet. )
[ this was the product of a lot of handwringing, half-finished sentences, and finally forced communication from essie because she couldn't stand hanging in limbo. if this wasn't going to work, she would bow out since she had done so in the beginning and it would have been fine. but thankfully, injecting some sensibility into the equation did them all some good. maybe it will end up being as unhealthy as she feared in the long run, but after being broken down piece by piece, she won't turn away the constant flow of affection and feelings of acceptance. any drama whittles down to petty arguments. and she and van – well, this is beyond a mutual agreement now.
she likes him, is even thankful for how much he pushed jules to acknowledge and sharpen the hidden qualities about himself that they couldn't have possibly seen in high school. she feels challenged by him in the studio, having been hazed in a ... more productive way than her old school. there's no excusing the meanness from before, but it's in the past now.
now, she's kissing him back, the two of them lazy and basking in the aftermath of what they had just done, not quite partners but further from rivals than before. it's strangely saccharine, the way he kisses her, different from the way they usually kiss when they're in the heat of the moment. with a soft giggle, she places her phone on jules's desk and turns her head to look at him properly, lifting her hand to push his hair away from his eyes. ]
What, you miss him already? [ she teases, wrinkling her nose. ]
( cue van wrinkling his nose quite disdainfully in return, tipping his chin up to peer down skeptically at essie while she toys with his messy, faded bangs of some light, unidentifiably murky color. ) No, I do not. ( except he says it a little too quickly, sounds a little too defensive.
so maybe he'll grin a little sheepishly, as though he's not very obviously someone who's borderline obsessed with their boyfriend, admit, ) Okay, maybe a little.
( but he props himself up a little higher, brackets her with his hands on either side of her while his lower half stays stubbornly laying against the mattress, lazy after some good morning sex, and he tips his head to the side quizzically, sounding faux-offended. ) What, am I not allowed to just feel like kissing you? ( and maybe to be his usual contrarian self, he leans in for another kiss, giving her lower lip a teasing nip with his teeth before lapping over it gently to soothe the dull sting, stealing another smooch because that obviously helps everything. )
[ essie is about to fix a discerning glare on him but van eventually relents which has her smiling again. she can't deny a little bit of cuddling and aftercare after sex, even if she would typically leave after a few moments to catch her breath, preferably to clean up, change into a fresh set of clothes. but jules's shirts are comfortable and apparently so is van's embrace. interesting.
she kisses back deliberately, threading her fingers through the shorter hairs above the nape of his neck, keeping him there above her. it is nice. and he is a good kisser. ]
He's not naturally a cuddler, [ she sighs against his mouth, ] isn't that terrible?
Just awful, ( van agrees with a dramatic roll of his eyes, tipping his chin to kiss her again before more words decide that they want to leave him, his lips brushing against hers as he speaks, a little silly. ) I don't know why we put up with his bullshit.
( as though there aren't at least thousands of reasons why, some shallower than the rest and some that make van's heart feel like it's going to burst right out of his chest in a way that feels just as horrible and incomprehensible as it sounds. usually he has a far easier time saying questionably mean things to jules's face than he does behind his back, but considering present company, the way her delicate fingers slide so easily through his hair, he feels oddly at ease.
maybe he'll just nose against her cheek a little, trail featherlight kisses along her jaw, his hand letting go of her shirt so it can settle on her hip, fingertips brushing gently against her bare skin. ) You didn't answer my question.
[ the kisses are distracting and essie is frequently easily distracted, lacking much of that hyperfocus that jules has always possessed and has tried to help her with since they were a little younger. they'd turn off their phones and face away from the television and sometimes each other when doing homework, though eventually, they would find themselves intertwined again.
she hums happily, letting him kiss her, her jaw and her chin, the touch unfamiliar but unusual nonetheless. ]
There's nothing wrong with that. I'm just surprised you want to at all, [ essie confesses with a little shrug of her shoulders, not really pressing the matter, but speaking her mind as she often does. ]
[ perhaps the essie last summer would have scoffed at such at such a thing, the idea of finding solace in an anime of all things. but she is pretty grateful to ed, al, and winry late.y it had a difficult school year, not for academic reasons, but for feeling unsettled, as if someone was going to pull the rug out from beneath her at any second. her friends and the dance team hadn't suspected a thing and it was business as usual. beneath it all, she had quietly panicked over the waves of disliking her friends, confused that she would even feel this way. she had been popular since middle school, had been confident that she would have a circle of friends to fall back on when they entered high school – surely something was wrong with her.
of course, like many seventeen-year-olds, essie hadn't thought to address it, stewing quietly with each house party and post-competition gathering. it was on a rare weekend browing her streaming options when she finally clicked on a show she had been eyeing for weeks. it took her about a month to speed through both versions of the anime, even staying up late to catch a little more.
that was for nerds, she thought. not for her. not for girls like her who cared too much about social status. after months of reading up on meta and scrolling silently through threads and threads of chatter, fanart, and – gasp – even taking on some fanfiction herself, she finally bought her first ticket to the convention in july. there wasn't any time to throw together anything special though the prospect of cosplay interested her. she did throw on a winry shirt she had been wearing to bed, tying it around her waist to expose her midriff, and hurried to catch the bus before her parents could ask her any further details.
the convention center is big, with glass panels filling the space with light. she's overwhelmed and nervous and thrilled all at once, marveling at the visitors, the booths, wishing she knew more as she clutches her pass and map. there's artist alley over there but there's a panel that should be in this hall and ... yes! she's found the line and, checking her phone ( pointedly ignoring tests from her friends ), she bites her glossy pink lip and looks around nervously. ]
Hey! [ she flashes a little smile at the boy standing in front of her, tapping him on the shoulder. ] What panel are you waiting for? [ or, wait, is this the line to try a new video game?? ]
[ It had been a little different for Calvin, because Calvin had never been one of the cool kids. He'd been living in the US so long that he couldn't remember his brief childhood stint in Korea that well (something him and his brother Joseph had experienced, but his youngest siblings Katie and Mattie hadn't), but he could clearly remember his struggle to make friends on his first day in kindergarten.
A cultural and language barrier could be blamed on his early struggles, though at this point Calvin has to concede defeat and accept that he might just be kind of awkward.
That's the beautiful thing about conventions like this one, however. Most of the people there are some level of awkward, or at least a good number of them are. There's never been a huge amount of judgement for him and his handful of close friends when they step through those doors and are greeted by a massive throng of people who share their interests, as well as their struggles to comfortably settle into the world out there.
Now of course not every convention goer falls under the typical umbrella of awkward nerd who is teased by many of their peers, but it does make Calvin feel a little better to just default assume everyone is in the same boat as him. There's a feeling of bonding with all of these strangers if they're all on the same playing field.
So when he turns around and sees a pretty girl standing behind him asking what panel he's in line for, Calvin is already assuming she's a lot like him in some ways. Maybe a little luckier in that she's very obviously conventionally attractive, but there are all kinds of cute girls into anime. They're usually the ones in some of the best cosplay, something that Calvin usually opts to avoid thanks to his lack of sewing skills, and his even bigger lack of income in order to purchase ones people are selling online.
She seems like she's doing some kind of dressed down cosplay though, which is cute. ]
Huh?
[ His face lights up as he points to the door in front of him. ]
Oh! No! I mean, it's not really a panel. It's a first screening to a show that's being released in the fall. I mean, the first season is already out in Japanese, so I've watched it online with subs, but it got licensed over here recently.
[ there's still a little voice in her head that whispers, you shouldn't be here, but she tries to shake it off. she's spent her good money on a ticket, she's put together an outfit and a look to suit the day, she's at least going to try to last a few hours before even considering throwing in the towel.
so, of course, she messes up the second she gets in line for something. but essie will not be deterred! especially since the line seems pretty long and now she suddenly doesn't want to lose this precious spot. ]
Oh, [ she finally responds, her lips forming an 'o' long after the word leaves her mouth. speaking more to herself than this stranger in front of her, ] Honestly, that's fine! I didn't really know where to start anyway and I seriously didn't expect the crowd to be this big. I mean, pretty big but not this big.
[ she gasps suddenly, remembering him. ] Wait, you said you watched it already? How?
[ There's a lot in that response that he can honestly say he didn't expect to hear from an attendee here. The lack of realization of scale, the not knowing what lines are for, and the fact that she's surprised he was maybe not so legally streaming a show. Admittedly, that's how Calvin watches most things given his tight budget, and his parents being less than enthused on him spending it on too many streaming services.
Especially because when he does save up money, he likes to spend it like this.
He smiles uncertainly, not sure how to begin addressing all of this here, he's never actually initiated someone into the con world before, so he doesn't really want to screw it up and chase someone out of the hobby. ]
Your first anime con?
[ He looks down the length of the line, trying to do a rough estimate of the people ahead of them, knowing what the room's size is from past trips here. ]
We'll definitely have plenty of seats left by the time we get in, but you get pretty good at telling when a panel or screening is going to be too packed to have chairs after a little bit.
[ essie almost asks 'is that obvious?' but, uh, it kind of is since she's asking so many questions and she just knows how bewildered she must look compared to literally everyone else milling about this queue. there's a word for what she is feeling right now but it doesn't immediately come to mind as she considers hobbies and fandom circles and wanting to feel like she belongs to something, not simply coasting through life.
perhaps this is a place to which she can tether herself. she just needs to stop being too much in her own head.
for a second, she wants to lie, laugh it off like she knew it already, but it's far too late for that. besides, no one really knows her here anyway. so, essie shakes her head, worrying her lip between her teeth. ]
No. I just – um. I just kinda started watching on Netflix, actually. I thought I'd check this convention out.
[ As that feeling hits Essie, a different one hits Calvin at the same time. It's a feeling like he is the one in the know, the in crowd who has a chance to welcome a new recruit to something. Not like he's the uncool nerd at school who people make jokes about behind his back, but someone who actually knows something worth listening to.
It's a little invigorating, and while snobby gatekeeping is certainly one (very shitty) approach to someone so new to the hobby, it's never been Calvin's style.
Essie has lucked out with this guy, because there's no judgement on his face as he responds-- ]
[ her eyes go wide and she stifles that little voice in the back of her head that reminds her of all those twitter gatekeepers making sure people like her wouldn't find their not-so-secret hobby. with a smile, she inhales deeply ... and exhales in a rush of words, things she has been dying to say out loud to somebody. looks like this boy in front of her in line is the perfect candidate for that. ]
Gosh, so I was looking for something to watch on Netflix, right? And I saw this show Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, so I put it in my queue, [ essie continues rambling, animated and bouncy as she starts to essentially tell this stranger her life story. ] And finally I was just like, oh screw it, and I started watching it. I totally paused and suddenly it was midnight and I was ten episodes in. Totally hooked.
[ she tosses her curly red hair over her shoulder for effect. ]
It's so good! I thought, oh, it's a cartoon, like, it's for kids, right? But wow, it's so dark. It was kind of like watching Harry Potter. Not that it's the same thing but it's just a huge universe, you know? So, I watched that, then the live action one? It was weirdly inaccurate but the guy who played Ed was so cute. [ her giggles taper off and she covers her mouth with both pink manicured hands. ]
[ He can't say much for the guy who plays Ed, but it doesn't take long for Calvin to realize how cute Essie herself is. Honestly, it was obvious the minute he turned around to see her, but the whole bubbly vibe she's giving off mixed with the enthusiasm goes a long way.
He's going to have to make a huge effort towards not looking like a complete loser and putting his foot in his mouth...
Like he usually does.
His nodding is just a little too enthusiastic at first though, so he tries to dial it back and overshoots to something that's barely visible at all. When he clears his voice to talk, he also pitches his voice just a little bit lower than he did when he first started talking to her. ]
Yeah, I mean there's a lot of cool series like that out there. Lots of anime isn't really meant for kids. There's tons of stuff meant for people our age, and even older than that.
[ Even beyond the whole hentai stuff, but maybe don't mention anime porn to the cute girl, Calvin? Just don't... ]
And if you're into Harry Potter it's pretty easy to find merch and fanart for it in the dealer's room and artist alley.
[ she's honestly grateful for the in with the drama department at her university. all it takes is the flutter of her lashes and the mousy keeper of the costumes has allowed essie ko to borrow a charming mid 19th century gown, beige with red flowers, black lace lining her decolletage. the rose pins in her shocking ginger hair are a nice touch, especially since essie sees no reason to blend in. her hair and makeup aren't historically accurate but she supposes nice korean-american girls weren't wearing such clothes at this time.
the historical halloween performance and party at the old manor just off campus was far too tempting, especially since she can't turn down a good show and a chance to put on a costume, especially most of her dancewear is spandex and holo and she never gets a chance to gussie up like this.
somehow she's managed to coax her boyfriend to come with her, the two of them making a ( frankly ) smokin' pair even if essie is keen to remain on the outside of the crowd, chatting occasionally between the nosh and the drinks. she's feeling bold again, sliding lace gloved hand into his and leaning in awfully close to brush her lips against his ear. ]
those are the most magical words that can possibly be uttered during an especially stifling midsummer week. essie is usually a good kid, obedient, goes to church every sunday with her parents. she comes home right on time for curfew even if she's negotiated later outings on occasion.
there's no real reason for her parents to be mistrusting of her which is why they're fine leaving her at the house for once while they drive an hour away to a gathering with family friends. it's a birthday for a six-year-old so she certainly won't be missed there and would probably be moping about in the corner anyway.
the second they're out the door, she calls calvin with the intent to watch more of that series he recommended. it's better together so she can hear his commentary between scenes instead of watching it apart and reporting back every few episodes. even more thrilling – she's got them set up in her bedroom, the scandal.
but around episode three, she's starting to feel a little restless, a little cuddly as she snuggles up to him and rubs her face into his neck. the central air is on but all she feels right now is hot under the collar. or well, the loops of her spaghetti strap tank. ]
[ There are few words that a teenage boy longs to hear from his girlfriend (??) than "Come over, my parents aren't home." There is an unsaid promise in those words that has Calvin desperately searching his room for a couple of packets of free condoms that his school handed out. It had seemed almost like a joke to give them to someone like Calvin, but now...
Now it still seems like it might have been a joke, as apparently all Essie had wanted from him was an anime hangout session.
Honestly, Calvin would still be delighted by this if he didn't feel a little deflated by reality. He probably should have expected it, but his teenage brain has run away with him and made him think this was it.
But almost an hour had passed, and it had just been watching anime. Calvin has dutifully provided commentary for it regardless, because despite his disappointment, he still wanted to watch this show. By episode three he's even managed to do the reverse of Essie, and get absorbed enough in that he's starting to forget his initial disappointment.
And then Essie goes and rubs up against him like that, and his attention snaps back to her in an instant. He clears his throat, and tries to keep his voice from cracking when he speaks. ]
[ she hadn't meant to mislead – since they had met over anime, she had thought it might be nice to watch at least a little bit of it before they got to what they both were hoping they'd get to eventually today. days are longer in the summer, after all, and without any homework or other obligations to bog them down or limit their time together.
though, given that kid parties that are mostly for adults gathering don't last forever either, it's probably high time to lean into teenage horniness.
essie pulls back and impishly smiles at him, her nose wrinkling. very purposefully, she brushes her hair off her shoulders and tucks a lock behind her ear as she adjusts her position to cozy up to him even more.
she is, at least, a girl who knows what she wants sometimes. ]
[ It's hard when you have both movies and television setting up unrealistic expectations about how relationships will go, and a plethora of other sources telling you just how unrealistic those things are. So a hot couple might hook up in a sexy way during a movie, but you've got everyone around you telling you to not actually expect that of your girlfriend.
Even though Calvin very much wanted this to be a horny romp, the minute Essie had pulled out the actual anime to watch he'd killed that idea. The most he was hoping for was maybe a little make out session after catching up with what had been released.
He's trying to keep his expectations low right now too, and stick with that 'maybe a make out session' line of thought as she says that.
He doesn't even have time to respond verbally before he's scrambling to pause the show. ]
Okay. Yeah! Okay!
[ The over enthusiastic agreement coming after he's already stopped things makes it a little ridiculous, but Calvin has shown time and time again already that he's not very cool. ]
[ it's so cute, seeing him flustered by even the smallest moves she makes on him. not that essie has a great deal of experience in comparison, but she certainly has a bit more finesse when it comes to these things. her smile widens as she watches calvin fumble to pause their show and she angles her body towards him even more, legs curled up against her as they sit against the back of her tufted daybed headboard.
her room is that of a normal teenage girl with posters and dance competition trophies, brand new nerd merch slowly edging out the the childhood princess-y vibes she had grown up with. it's frankly exciting to have a boy in her private space, regardless of what they end up doing and are comfortable with at the end of the day.
essie doesn't mind taking the first few steps either, leaning in to gently cup his cheek so she can kiss him softly.
it's not the first time they've kissed, no, but there's a promise of more this time, as tentative as it may be. ]
[ A lack of experience on both their parts puts them on theoretically even footing when it comes to things like this, but their very different personalities means that Calvin is always going to come off a little sweatier and a little more awkward than Essie ever will.
The lack of excitement about this is pretty even though. Calvin had never been invited into a girl's room before Essie.
Well, he had when he was a little kid, and they were literal playdates, but since puberty happened his number of female friends had dwindled painfully, and his romantic prospects managed to total out at zero before their fateful meeting at the anime convention. Even if Calvin is a cute enough guy, the way he dresses and styles himself does a pretty good job of making him look very ordinary and ignorable.
His inability to make any first approaches doesn't help his case, so it's nice that Essie is willing to take some lead here, because at the very least Calvin is ready and willing to enthusiastically follow.
He twists his body towards her a little as she starts the kiss, pressing his lips back against hers to deepen the kiss a little. They've had enough practice with this now for Calvin to feel pretty comfortable that he's doing an okay job here. ]
[ it is a nice kiss, a good kiss. essie is slowly learning how to tell someone what she actually wants ( her, not anyone else ), and while she still has a lot of growing to do in that direction, she is at least comfortable with the fact that calvin is someone who will actually take into consideration whatever she's saying. more pressure here, less tongue there, maybe they shouldn't sit in such a weird position. right now, sitting sideways is fine because she fully has intentions to move when things get hotter and heavier. and if they're on the same page, it certainly will.
she doesn't mind that he's sweatier or more awkward because, well, it's endearing. and it somehow makes her feel less pressured to do or be anything in this moment.
against his mouth, essie giggles softly, thrilled and already a bit breathless even if they've only just begun. she touches his cheek with a little rub of her thumb against the apple of it before her fingers push into his hair. ]
Um.
[ at the pause when she needs to part for air, she decides to pipe up with: ] I was kind of thinking ...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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but today he doesn't, for some inexplicable reason. he's fine where he is, laying in jules's bed and scrolling mindlessly through his instagram feed. a quick glance over his shoulder shows that the girl beside him is doing much of the same, and — locking his phone and setting it aside, he turns to face her, to ... scoot closer to her, even, chin resting against her shoulder and his eyes round as ever as he peers down at her screen instead, his natural pout deepening. )
Essie, ( he murmurs, the epitome of a cat that really fucking wants some attention, the tip of his nose bumping against her cheek. then, some combination of a whine and an exasperated groan: ) Essie.
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the rest just happened and she found himself back with now not-straight jules and his boyfriend. the physical and emotional closeness is healing, in a way, since the girls from her first college had broken her down more than she thought. she once loved jules, and maybe falling for him again would factor in the person who helped him evolve a little bit. it's undeniable that it feels good whenever they decide to share more than they often do. college is meant for experimentation and time is precious and surely they can expedite exhausting their boyfriend by sharing the space.
but it's rarely about the two of them though god knows how well they move together in the studio and in bed. after the goodbye kisses, she's returned to bed after cleaning herself up a little, not bothering to tame her curly hair and donning one of jules's ringer shirts with nothing else, comfortable as she settles in for a glance at her calendar and a scroll through her friends' stories. and that's when van decides to snuggle in, which only makes her raise her eyebrows. ]
What? [ but she doesn't sound annoyed, in fact quite fond as she turns to peer down at him and swipes away the stories. ]
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essie fucking ko, he'd practically spit, furiously scrolling through jules's tagged photos, making himself more and more angry the more he thought about why jules didn't untag himself, why he didn't unfriend her, why he didn't remove her from his life entirely. essie fucking ko is beautiful — gorgeous, even, with enviable, vibrant curls — and the two of them look so happy in all of their pictures. essie fucking ko is also, obviously, a girl. she represents just about everything that van does not, represents an easy relationship without confusion over sexualities and the mere possibility of a judging family, a path to what jules could do, maybe even should do.
maybe he never really hated essie fucking ko at all. maybe it was always just about his own jealousy and — worse than that, his own insecurities. not that he'll ever admit that.
leave it to jules tan to do the exact opposite of what van expects and say fuck it all and find himself with a boyfriend and a girlfriend. leave it to van to do the unexpected, too, finding himself shockingly okay with the fiery chemistry between he and essie onstage when they dance, his so-called hatred morphing into panting and heatedly kissing maybe the softest pair of lips he's ever kissed, tasting her strawberry lip gloss onstage — finding himself shockingly okay with the concept of sharing. maybe it's because essie brings something a little more grounded to their relationship, tempering jules and van's fires as they inevitably clash, tempering van's giant fucking ego.
it's weird for him, the warmth that bubbles up in his chest when essie meets his gaze, the soft smile that curves onto his mouth. he drapes an arm over her middle, curls his fingers into the fabric of jules's shirt and props himself up on his forearm so he can lean down and press a kiss against her mouth, soft and maybe even a little sweet. )
Hi.
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she likes him, is even thankful for how much he pushed jules to acknowledge and sharpen the hidden qualities about himself that they couldn't have possibly seen in high school. she feels challenged by him in the studio, having been hazed in a ... more productive way than her old school. there's no excusing the meanness from before, but it's in the past now.
now, she's kissing him back, the two of them lazy and basking in the aftermath of what they had just done, not quite partners but further from rivals than before. it's strangely saccharine, the way he kisses her, different from the way they usually kiss when they're in the heat of the moment. with a soft giggle, she places her phone on jules's desk and turns her head to look at him properly, lifting her hand to push his hair away from his eyes. ]
What, you miss him already? [ she teases, wrinkling her nose. ]
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so maybe he'll grin a little sheepishly, as though he's not very obviously someone who's borderline obsessed with their boyfriend, admit, ) Okay, maybe a little.
( but he props himself up a little higher, brackets her with his hands on either side of her while his lower half stays stubbornly laying against the mattress, lazy after some good morning sex, and he tips his head to the side quizzically, sounding faux-offended. ) What, am I not allowed to just feel like kissing you? ( and maybe to be his usual contrarian self, he leans in for another kiss, giving her lower lip a teasing nip with his teeth before lapping over it gently to soothe the dull sting, stealing another smooch because that obviously helps everything. )
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she kisses back deliberately, threading her fingers through the shorter hairs above the nape of his neck, keeping him there above her. it is nice. and he is a good kisser. ]
He's not naturally a cuddler, [ she sighs against his mouth, ] isn't that terrible?
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( as though there aren't at least thousands of reasons why, some shallower than the rest and some that make van's heart feel like it's going to burst right out of his chest in a way that feels just as horrible and incomprehensible as it sounds. usually he has a far easier time saying questionably mean things to jules's face than he does behind his back, but considering present company, the way her delicate fingers slide so easily through his hair, he feels oddly at ease.
maybe he'll just nose against her cheek a little, trail featherlight kisses along her jaw, his hand letting go of her shirt so it can settle on her hip, fingertips brushing gently against her bare skin. ) You didn't answer my question.
( maybe he just wants to Know. )
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[ the kisses are distracting and essie is frequently easily distracted, lacking much of that hyperfocus that jules has always possessed and has tried to help her with since they were a little younger. they'd turn off their phones and face away from the television and sometimes each other when doing homework, though eventually, they would find themselves intertwined again.
she hums happily, letting him kiss her, her jaw and her chin, the touch unfamiliar but unusual nonetheless. ]
There's nothing wrong with that. I'm just surprised you want to at all, [ essie confesses with a little shrug of her shoulders, not really pressing the matter, but speaking her mind as she often does. ]
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of course, like many seventeen-year-olds, essie hadn't thought to address it, stewing quietly with each house party and post-competition gathering. it was on a rare weekend browing her streaming options when she finally clicked on a show she had been eyeing for weeks. it took her about a month to speed through both versions of the anime, even staying up late to catch a little more.
that was for nerds, she thought. not for her. not for girls like her who cared too much about social status. after months of reading up on meta and scrolling silently through threads and threads of chatter, fanart, and – gasp – even taking on some fanfiction herself, she finally bought her first ticket to the convention in july. there wasn't any time to throw together anything special though the prospect of cosplay interested her. she did throw on a winry shirt she had been wearing to bed, tying it around her waist to expose her midriff, and hurried to catch the bus before her parents could ask her any further details.
the convention center is big, with glass panels filling the space with light. she's overwhelmed and nervous and thrilled all at once, marveling at the visitors, the booths, wishing she knew more as she clutches her pass and map. there's artist alley over there but there's a panel that should be in this hall and ... yes! she's found the line and, checking her phone ( pointedly ignoring tests from her friends ), she bites her glossy pink lip and looks around nervously. ]
Hey! [ she flashes a little smile at the boy standing in front of her, tapping him on the shoulder. ] What panel are you waiting for? [ or, wait, is this the line to try a new video game?? ]
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A cultural and language barrier could be blamed on his early struggles, though at this point Calvin has to concede defeat and accept that he might just be kind of awkward.
That's the beautiful thing about conventions like this one, however. Most of the people there are some level of awkward, or at least a good number of them are. There's never been a huge amount of judgement for him and his handful of close friends when they step through those doors and are greeted by a massive throng of people who share their interests, as well as their struggles to comfortably settle into the world out there.
Now of course not every convention goer falls under the typical umbrella of awkward nerd who is teased by many of their peers, but it does make Calvin feel a little better to just default assume everyone is in the same boat as him. There's a feeling of bonding with all of these strangers if they're all on the same playing field.
So when he turns around and sees a pretty girl standing behind him asking what panel he's in line for, Calvin is already assuming she's a lot like him in some ways. Maybe a little luckier in that she's very obviously conventionally attractive, but there are all kinds of cute girls into anime. They're usually the ones in some of the best cosplay, something that Calvin usually opts to avoid thanks to his lack of sewing skills, and his even bigger lack of income in order to purchase ones people are selling online.
She seems like she's doing some kind of dressed down cosplay though, which is cute. ]
Huh?
[ His face lights up as he points to the door in front of him. ]
Oh! No! I mean, it's not really a panel. It's a first screening to a show that's being released in the fall. I mean, the first season is already out in Japanese, so I've watched it online with subs, but it got licensed over here recently.
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so, of course, she messes up the second she gets in line for something. but essie will not be deterred! especially since the line seems pretty long and now she suddenly doesn't want to lose this precious spot. ]
Oh, [ she finally responds, her lips forming an 'o' long after the word leaves her mouth. speaking more to herself than this stranger in front of her, ] Honestly, that's fine! I didn't really know where to start anyway and I seriously didn't expect the crowd to be this big. I mean, pretty big but not this big.
[ she gasps suddenly, remembering him. ] Wait, you said you watched it already? How?
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Especially because when he does save up money, he likes to spend it like this.
He smiles uncertainly, not sure how to begin addressing all of this here, he's never actually initiated someone into the con world before, so he doesn't really want to screw it up and chase someone out of the hobby. ]
Your first anime con?
[ He looks down the length of the line, trying to do a rough estimate of the people ahead of them, knowing what the room's size is from past trips here. ]
We'll definitely have plenty of seats left by the time we get in, but you get pretty good at telling when a panel or screening is going to be too packed to have chairs after a little bit.
[ Now as for that question... ]
And I guess you've never watched a fansub before?
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perhaps this is a place to which she can tether herself. she just needs to stop being too much in her own head.
for a second, she wants to lie, laugh it off like she knew it already, but it's far too late for that. besides, no one really knows her here anyway. so, essie shakes her head, worrying her lip between her teeth. ]
No. I just – um. I just kinda started watching on Netflix, actually. I thought I'd check this convention out.
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It's a little invigorating, and while snobby gatekeeping is certainly one (very shitty) approach to someone so new to the hobby, it's never been Calvin's style.
Essie has lucked out with this guy, because there's no judgement on his face as he responds-- ]
Oh cool! What series did you check out there?
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Gosh, so I was looking for something to watch on Netflix, right? And I saw this show Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, so I put it in my queue, [ essie continues rambling, animated and bouncy as she starts to essentially tell this stranger her life story. ] And finally I was just like, oh screw it, and I started watching it. I totally paused and suddenly it was midnight and I was ten episodes in. Totally hooked.
[ she tosses her curly red hair over her shoulder for effect. ]
It's so good! I thought, oh, it's a cartoon, like, it's for kids, right? But wow, it's so dark. It was kind of like watching Harry Potter. Not that it's the same thing but it's just a huge universe, you know? So, I watched that, then the live action one? It was weirdly inaccurate but the guy who played Ed was so cute. [ her giggles taper off and she covers her mouth with both pink manicured hands. ]
Sorry, that's a lot.
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He's going to have to make a huge effort towards not looking like a complete loser and putting his foot in his mouth...
Like he usually does.
His nodding is just a little too enthusiastic at first though, so he tries to dial it back and overshoots to something that's barely visible at all. When he clears his voice to talk, he also pitches his voice just a little bit lower than he did when he first started talking to her. ]
Yeah, I mean there's a lot of cool series like that out there. Lots of anime isn't really meant for kids. There's tons of stuff meant for people our age, and even older than that.
[ Even beyond the whole hentai stuff, but maybe don't mention anime porn to the cute girl, Calvin? Just don't... ]
And if you're into Harry Potter it's pretty easy to find merch and fanart for it in the dealer's room and artist alley.
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the historical halloween performance and party at the old manor just off campus was far too tempting, especially since she can't turn down a good show and a chance to put on a costume, especially most of her dancewear is spandex and holo and she never gets a chance to gussie up like this.
somehow she's managed to coax her boyfriend to come with her, the two of them making a ( frankly ) smokin' pair even if essie is keen to remain on the outside of the crowd, chatting occasionally between the nosh and the drinks. she's feeling bold again, sliding lace gloved hand into his and leaning in awfully close to brush her lips against his ear. ]
Ballroom's getting kinda stale. Wanna look around?
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Gosh now I'm absolutely salivating!
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those are the most magical words that can possibly be uttered during an especially stifling midsummer week. essie is usually a good kid, obedient, goes to church every sunday with her parents. she comes home right on time for curfew even if she's negotiated later outings on occasion.
there's no real reason for her parents to be mistrusting of her which is why they're fine leaving her at the house for once while they drive an hour away to a gathering with family friends. it's a birthday for a six-year-old so she certainly won't be missed there and would probably be moping about in the corner anyway.
the second they're out the door, she calls calvin with the intent to watch more of that series he recommended. it's better together so she can hear his commentary between scenes instead of watching it apart and reporting back every few episodes. even more thrilling – she's got them set up in her bedroom, the scandal.
but around episode three, she's starting to feel a little restless, a little cuddly as she snuggles up to him and rubs her face into his neck. the central air is on but all she feels right now is hot under the collar. or well, the loops of her spaghetti strap tank. ]
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Now it still seems like it might have been a joke, as apparently all Essie had wanted from him was an anime hangout session.
Honestly, Calvin would still be delighted by this if he didn't feel a little deflated by reality. He probably should have expected it, but his teenage brain has run away with him and made him think this was it.
But almost an hour had passed, and it had just been watching anime. Calvin has dutifully provided commentary for it regardless, because despite his disappointment, he still wanted to watch this show. By episode three he's even managed to do the reverse of Essie, and get absorbed enough in that he's starting to forget his initial disappointment.
And then Essie goes and rubs up against him like that, and his attention snaps back to her in an instant. He clears his throat, and tries to keep his voice from cracking when he speaks. ]
What's up?
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though, given that kid parties that are mostly for adults gathering don't last forever either, it's probably high time to lean into teenage horniness.
essie pulls back and impishly smiles at him, her nose wrinkling. very purposefully, she brushes her hair off her shoulders and tucks a lock behind her ear as she adjusts her position to cozy up to him even more.
she is, at least, a girl who knows what she wants sometimes. ]
You wanna pause the show a sec?
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Even though Calvin very much wanted this to be a horny romp, the minute Essie had pulled out the actual anime to watch he'd killed that idea. The most he was hoping for was maybe a little make out session after catching up with what had been released.
He's trying to keep his expectations low right now too, and stick with that 'maybe a make out session' line of thought as she says that.
He doesn't even have time to respond verbally before he's scrambling to pause the show. ]
Okay. Yeah! Okay!
[ The over enthusiastic agreement coming after he's already stopped things makes it a little ridiculous, but Calvin has shown time and time again already that he's not very cool. ]
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[ it's so cute, seeing him flustered by even the smallest moves she makes on him. not that essie has a great deal of experience in comparison, but she certainly has a bit more finesse when it comes to these things. her smile widens as she watches calvin fumble to pause their show and she angles her body towards him even more, legs curled up against her as they sit against the back of her tufted daybed headboard.
her room is that of a normal teenage girl with posters and dance competition trophies, brand new nerd merch slowly edging out the the childhood princess-y vibes she had grown up with. it's frankly exciting to have a boy in her private space, regardless of what they end up doing and are comfortable with at the end of the day.
essie doesn't mind taking the first few steps either, leaning in to gently cup his cheek so she can kiss him softly.
it's not the first time they've kissed, no, but there's a promise of more this time, as tentative as it may be. ]
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The lack of excitement about this is pretty even though. Calvin had never been invited into a girl's room before Essie.
Well, he had when he was a little kid, and they were literal playdates, but since puberty happened his number of female friends had dwindled painfully, and his romantic prospects managed to total out at zero before their fateful meeting at the anime convention. Even if Calvin is a cute enough guy, the way he dresses and styles himself does a pretty good job of making him look very ordinary and ignorable.
His inability to make any first approaches doesn't help his case, so it's nice that Essie is willing to take some lead here, because at the very least Calvin is ready and willing to enthusiastically follow.
He twists his body towards her a little as she starts the kiss, pressing his lips back against hers to deepen the kiss a little. They've had enough practice with this now for Calvin to feel pretty comfortable that he's doing an okay job here. ]
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she doesn't mind that he's sweatier or more awkward because, well, it's endearing. and it somehow makes her feel less pressured to do or be anything in this moment.
against his mouth, essie giggles softly, thrilled and already a bit breathless even if they've only just begun. she touches his cheek with a little rub of her thumb against the apple of it before her fingers push into his hair. ]
Um.
[ at the pause when she needs to part for air, she decides to pipe up with: ] I was kind of thinking ...
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